Language of the Heart and M

In the Power of Language they talk about the power of a native language. They say things like our native language is more connected to our emotional experiences.

They suppose that the type of stuff we think about is like the way we experience emotion laddened memories. When we're sad we think of those chilly thoughts. When were relaxed we remember those laid back times. So our native language with plenty of years of emotional experiences are more likely to trigger more emotional experiences than our more recently learned target language.

A later acquired language is supposed to have more distance. Less emotional ties. As Nelson Mandela said "Talk to a man in a language he understands it goes to his head...",

I've felt both of these effects. In my native language I'm more nervous. Like there is a wild storm in my mind. But the sweetness of someone seeing my struggle and speak my language to help me touches deep.

In my target language I'm relaxed. Less affected by the turbulence of human relationships. I'm happier. There have been people that take advantage of my disadvantage when they are fluent speakers. They are laughable to me. People that gaslight me are seen as people with a problem, but not my problem.

In my target language. I'm chill and unfazed. It like I'm in a cabin with a raging storm outside. Sitting toasty by a fire with the sound of rain.

In my native language. I am passionate and vivid. That comes with emotional baggage. For example cultural norms with what words sounds coarse and what softens the blow.

All of them are a part of me.